Friendly Helper

This post is one of those "hey, I'm way proud of my kid" posts, so please indulge me. ;-)

Lexi is a friendly helper at North and as such, was involved in collecting coins last week for the Red Cross in their efforts to help in Haiti.

She spent hours making this announcement poster.

I know! Gorgeous right?! Congratulations on a job well done, Lex!

Friday Fix: Comma Splices

See if you can identify what's wrong with this sentence: Larry slammed the refrigerator door, he vowed never to buy Roquefort cheese again.

Okay, other than Larry's deep-seated aversion to Roquefort--which may suggest psychological issues--we've got another problem. Duh duh DUUUUHHHH . . . a comma splice.

See, the problem with a comma splice is that it's used between independent clauses. If they're independent they should be standing alone. As in their own sentence. Or at least joined together by a nice coordinating conjunction. Comma splices can confuse the reader who no doubt innately knows that commas only belong with dependent clauses. (Yep.)

Four ways to "fix" a comma splice:

1) Substitute that sucka for a period and capitalize the next word. Larry slammed the refrigerator door. He vowed never to buy Roquefort cheese again.

2) Substitute that sucka for the under-utilized but highly practical semicolon! (Semicolons join independent clauses! Whoot Whoot!) Larry slammed the refrigerator door; he vowed never to buy Roquefort cheese again.

3) Keep the comma, but add a conjunction to the beginning of the second independent clause. Larry slammed the refrigerator door, and he vowed never to buy Roquefort cheese again.

4) Keep the comma, but make one of the independent clauses dependent (meaning it NEEDS another thought to make it complete--don'tcha just hate when people and clauses are so stinkin' needy?!). Slamming the refrigerator door, Larry vowed he would never buy Roquefort cheese again. OR Larry slammed the refrigerator door, vowing he would never buy Roquefort cheese again.

So see? With so many correct ways to convey the same idea, there's really no good excuse for a comma splice.

AND after typing this Friday Fix, I can now spell "Roquefort" in my sleep! YAY! I love it when there are multiple perks! :-)

Friday Fix: Effect vs. Affect

Get ready to be effected, er. . . I mean, affected.

Ready?

If you find yourself in a quandry, pickle, or other such dilemma about whether to use effect or affect, remember this:

The vast majority of the time use the e when the word is a noun, and a when it's a verb.

There are a few exceptions but let's not clutter things up right now when the above little pearl of wisdom will serve you well about 95% of the time.

Practice:
1. You have no idea how horseradish and sauerkraut (affect/effect) me.
2. You cannot believe the (affect/effect) horseradish and sauerkraut have on me.

Answers:
1. affect
2. effect

How'd ya do?

Friday Fix: Hodge Podge of "Unwords"

Supposably, there are some words that take on completely different identities, though they're just simular enough that we reckanize them.

See what I mean?

Supposably? That should be supposedly.

Simular? That would be similar.

Reckanize? Um, that should be recognize.

...cracks me UP!

What are some words that you hear mispronounced?

Friday Fix: Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep

If you caught my post from Christmas Day, you may remember that I told you to be sure and come back the next week (New Year's Day), tantalizing you with the possibility of a Friday Fix that would start 2010 out with a BANG! (Because, yanno, what's more tantalizing than a Friday Fix?)

Scroll down and check. . . is there a post for January 1st? Um, that would be "no," she typed sheepishly.

I knew in the back of my mind that it would be tough to post during the holidays, but I figured I'd also have a little free time to think and come up with something. Wrong-O.

The result? I'm experiencing loser-like feelings of inadequacy, and any readers--I think there are still one or two of you out there--are wondering wassup. I hate not following through, but I guess not enough to make sure I do at any cost.

So learn from my mistake and if you're not 100% sure you can live up to the promise, don't make it. And I vow to do the same.

Friday Fix: It's Christmas!

What on earth are you doing reading Friday Fix today? It's Christmas! The only fixin' you should be concered with today are the turkey fixins and whether or not to have a third helping.

Get off the computer and go spend time with your family celebrating Christ, eating, opening presents, eating, gabbing, and eating some more. (Even I'm not on the computer because I set this for automatic post on Wednesday, thank you very much.) Play with your gifts and if you didn't get any that can be played with, elbow your way into the pack of kids and help them play with theirs. Fellowship. Goodwill. Kay?

Sheesh!

But be sure to come back next week because New Year's Day is ALL about fixing things for the new year. Right? And in the spirit of giving, I'm taking topic requests! Leave a comment if you'd like me to address anything specific.

Merriest of Christmases to all!

Friday Fix: Definitely

To spare you a long read during this busy season, I'll keep today's fix brief:

"Definately" is hereby banned, punishable by torture of constant Christmas music from the Chipmunks! Don't spell it that way.

It's definitely spelled d-e-f-i-n-I-t-e-l-y. Kay? Definitely.

(Hey, why did I just suddenly think of Rainman?)

Friday Fix: Use Regardless

I had planned to simply post the following:

Irregardless is not a word, regardless of what you hear. Don't use it.

Short, sweet, and to the point, right? But then I began to worry that "irregardless" has been misused so frequently that maybe it's now considered okay. (You know, like girls calling their friends "wifey"--if enough people do it, everyone thinks it's alright. I know I'm gettin' old, but there's just something not right about that.)

So you know me. I checked. And what I found is that most sources that acknowledge "irregardless" as a word (and there are many that do not) provide a caveat something to the tune of "improper usage" or "use regardless instead." Hooray!

And I also found out why. Wrap your mind around this brilliant reasoning: "Since the prefix ir- means 'not' (as it does with irrespective), and the suffix -less means 'without,' irregardless is a double negative" (Wikipedia). And everyone knows two negatives make a positive, which means that when people say "irregardless" they are actually saying the opposite of what they mean. Tee hee. I LOVE that.

So, irregardless of what you've heard (c'mon, you know I HAD to do that) use "regardless". It's the single negative choice of experts everywhere. (Thumbs up and big cheesy grin.)

Friday Fix: Ellipses

One of my friends and writing buddies (Hi Marsh!) suggested today's topic: ellipses. You know, those three little dots that are used to show that you . . . words. Hmm . . .why do I feel like I left something out?

Alas, I am no expert on today's topic. In fact, I suspect that I'm one of those who overuse it as illustrated after the "Hmm" in the above sentence. In addition to using ellipses for their original purpose (to show where words in a quote are omitted), I also use them to indicate pauses and a continuation of thinking, especially in informal writing. A lot.

So I decided to do a little digging and here's where I dug:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/ellipsis.aspx

And if for whatever reason you choose not to soil your shovel there, I'll just share a few gold nuggets I unearthed:

1. It's acceptable in informal writing to use ellipses to show pausing and a continuation of thought! Woo Hoo! ('Scuse me while I cabbage patch a bit). BUT, (what is it with big BUTS?) don't over-do it. Apparently, it grates on some readers' nerves when ellipses are used excessively. You know, everything in moderation, blah, blah, blah.

2. You're actually supposed to put a space between the dots! I did NOT know that! And I've been doing it wrong all these years. (*Note, if you're a former student of mine, you're either loving that and doing your own cabbage patch dance OR you're considering seeking reimbursement for your education. Ahem...sorry! I mean, Ahem . . . sorry!)

3. If you're writing formally, you should just check the preferred style manual of your boss, teacher, publisher, or whomever is making you write. Know if it's MLA, APA, Chicago, Turabian, or the current manual de jour.

If you're a hard-core addict like myself, you really might want to go back (seriously!) and check out the article because it contains more interesting points. If not . . . well, be sure to dot your i's and eye your dots! ;-)

Friday Fix: Adapting to Environment

Effective communicators always note their environment and adapt accordingly. That's why we whisper in church, yell at ballgames, and speak with our "goofy voices" only around those we know love us unconditionally (you know, like when you talk to your baby, your love, or your dog...Duzza wovey dovey wanna nice boney woney?).

So when certain communication behavior violates the accepted context of an environment, all KINDS of interesting things can happen. (Imagine if football players, for example, patted other men on the butt OFF the football field!) People around you become uncomfortable and their desire to communicate dwindles. If folks adapted in consideration of others, we wouldn't hear of such craziness as Toys R Us shutting down TWICE on Black Friday due to people fighting. Adapt, people!

Consider this scenario. It's 5:45 a.m. on Black Friday at the local Walmart. One check-out line has filled two perpendicular aisles and I take my place on the end not realizing that hubby found a much shorter line on the other side of the store.

As I whip out my phone to call and see where he is, the woman in front of me turns my direction, glares infrared to a male a few yards behind me and barks,"Just grab the f'ing thing!" (Expletive modified because, you know, I'm adapting to my environment and all and we don't use that language on here, now do we?)

Mr. Unfortunate did indeed grab the thing and took his place beside his lady in front of me. I stood there feeling a little emptier upon witnessing the whole scene. Along with at least 50 other people within earshot.

SHE, my friends, communicated in a way that did not fit the environment. If she talks to him that way at home and he takes it, I guess that's their business (but will you join me in praying for them?). But to taint the air of everyone else in the vicinity? Well, how many of us do you think wanted to engage in joyful chit-chat with her. Um, that would be none.

Glory be. My hubby picked up my call and rescued me by telling me to meet him at his prime check-out real estate location. And do you know there were ALL KINDS of friendly, environment-adapting people to chit-chat with when I got there?

Courteous environment-adapting folks in the short line, loud curse-word spewing non-environment-adapting folks (or at least one) in the looooong line.

NOT a coincidence, I'm sure! ;-)

Friday Fix: A Lot

"A lot" is two words.

It's not "alot" ever.

Even though you see it wrong a lot.

'Nuff said. (And herein lies another lesson: Brevity is a virtue.) ;-)

Friday Fix: Hypen or Dash?

Truth #1: A hyphen separates parts of words. You can even connect words with them to function adjectively. Teddy wants to re-think his career choice. He's in couldn't-care-less mode.

Truth #2: A dash separates parts of sentences, usually for emphasis. Baby, that chili is delicious--I'm talking, the best ever!

Truth #3: You usually have to key in two hyphens to make a dash. Most word processing programs then join them to make one longer line, but on blogger this is a hyphen -, and this is a dash --.

Truth #4: Yes, I'm being totally serious.

It can be kind of confusing for the reader if the wrong one is used-see what I mean? It may bamboozle the reader in a gee--that--doesn't--seem--right sort of way. Mm hmm...

So I hope my in-your-face approach makes sense and that you've come to appreciate the unique distinctions between the humble--yet powerful!--hyphen and dash.