A Load of Horse P**p?

Oh my goodness--it has been two whole weeks since I posted on this thing! I feel like I've been in high gear and didn't even realize how much time had past. When I stopped and thought about what had kept me so busy over the past few weeks, I thought it made for a pretty interesting list...
*Moved my mother-in-law and step-father-in-law (is that a word?) to Marshall from Jeffersonville, IN.
*Graded ninety-some "Works Cited" exercises from my students. (Ah...remember good ol' MLA documentation style, former students?)
*Tried to push blue spruce, douglas fir, and crown vetch on acquaintances to help the girls with a 4-H fundraiser (get your orders in now!).
*Packed up the family for a weekend getaway (which included the first item listed above).
*Filled out a THICK employment packet for my new job--okay, still workin' on that one.
*Enjoyed to the fullest extent Jen's posts about Cootie, Easter egg dying, and a heart-beatin' butt...(my sides still ache).
*Admired Missy's knack for keeping the men in her family closely cropped and clean-cut.
*Admired Missy's knack for keeping committed to a very difficult complaint fast.
*Enjoyed reading everyone's reactions and experiences while taking their own complaint fasts.
*Wondered why I'm not yet doing a complaint fast.
*Got all sentimental and nostalgic and wistful lookin' at the pictures on Gretchen's new blog.
*Made preparations for being out of town next week on vacation--okay, still workin' on that too.
*And last but not least, I helped Shane unload a truck bed full of horse poop onto our garden at 9:00 last night. No really. We did. The moon was beautiful. And we should have a bumper crop this summer. :-)

Number 12

Yesterday, my honey and I "celebrated" our twelfth anniversary. I use the term "celebrated" in sort of an unconventional way, though. We didn't go out to a nice restaurant, we didn't take a trip, and we didn't exchange gifts. But it was definitely a celebration. We didn't do any typical anniversary-type "stuff," maybe because it was Sunday and by the time we got home from church it was already 1:00. Or maybe because we had band practice in the evening. Or maybe because we'd celebrated Valentine's Day and both our birthdays in the last month. Or maybe because we didn't want to have to pay a sitter when we knew Shane's mom would be here later this week and she'd watch the kids for free...

Or maybe it was because after twelve years that have seen highs--new and exciting jobs, a housebuilding project, establishing a life in this community, growing spiritually, and having children--as well as lows--miscarriage, infertility, depression, and other hard knocks--we know that no card or special gift can even begin to capture what we know we share. Now, I like cards, and dinners out, and gifts. A lot. But trying to "fit them in" yesterday would've somehow felt like a forced celebration, ya know?

Oh, but it was a GRAND celebration...

In the afternoon we loaded up kids, canine, and bikes in the truck and went to Lincoln Trail for a nice family bike ride. It only lasted about a quarter mile though, because on the other side of the dam was a little pier. If you know our kids at all, you know that rocks, water, and potential treasure can occupy them for hours. And Penny, our chocolate lab (who is very strong) was kind of tough to manage on her leash from a moving bike. She was actually pulling Shane at one point! So at this little area, I soaked in the beauty of an early spring day and enjoyed the company of the people I love best. I was overwhelmed with how blessed I am and I'm tearing up even now just thinking about it.

The picture above relates to sort of an inside scoop that I'll letcha in on. When Shane was little, his family nicknamed him "Bug" because he crawled around so fast. The name stuck and his Dad still calls him that to this day. I guess that makes him my Love Bug. :-)

So on the day after our 12th Anniversary, please know how much I love you, Baby. God has paired us up for great purposes (three of which are already revealed!) and I'm so honored to be your wife. Happy Anniversary. I wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way.

My Shining Star

Friday night I was on the way to church for Ladies Night Out. I was slated to give the devotional and I saw this as kind of a defining event. Some of you know that for the last year and a half or so, I've felt the call from God to do some sort of speaking/writing ministry, but lately it seems to have kind of stalled out.

(Ever been there? God shows in numerous ways that He wants you to do something, but when it doesn't happen in our way or our time, we begin to question whether we heard the call correctly? Or even at all?)

So anyway, I was just kind of nervous about the whole thing because without realizing it, I had begun to associate the outcome of this one devotion as the confirmation from God to continue on this path or not.

As I got to the south edge of town, with the western sky on my left, I noticed what a truly beautiful evening it was. It was crisp and completely cloudless. The sun was already below the horizon, but it left that lovely graduation of blazing orange, to pink, to purple, to blue, to deep vast nighttime sky. And in that deeper blue, there was one bright, glittering star. Now, I know that Jesus is the "morning" star (Isaiah 14:12, II Peter 1:19, Rev. 22:16), but when my eye was caught by that evening star in all its solitary splendor, I felt His presence wash over me, encouraging me that He was with me. I was reminded that everything (no matter the outcome!) will be alright. I just needed to give it to Him and all would be fine. He reminded me that I was obedient in the message I was sharing, that I'd prayed through the preparation and practice, and that the rest was up to Him. Ahh, Freedom! I was simply the messenger and His will would be done, even if I messed up. How truly liberating.

II Peter 1:19--And we have word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in the dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts...21 For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. (NIV)

Unsettled and a Talking Donkey

If I were asked to describe my life in one and only one word right now, it would be "unsettled." And that seems crazy to me. The choice for my life-partner was determined a loooooong time ago (longer than either of us knew) and has been confirmed many times over (Whew! Thank you, God, for him; he's wonderful). The decision to have kids, as well as how many, has been settled for awhile now (unless God has some plans I don't know about yet--look at Lysa TerKeurst, for Pete's sake!). We live in a community we love with wonderful Christian influence. We seek God's promptings in living out His will for our lives. These are things I'm sure about, so why do I feel unsettled?

Enter Brittanie D. She is at a different life phase than I am, and yet when I read her blog last night I could sooo identify with it. I think we all can. In fact, I believe we'll all probably continue to have seasons of "unsettledness" because God can use them so powerfully to mold and shape us. Those are our pruning times.

If you want to be blessed, click on Brittanie's link over there ---->
and read her posting entitled "God's Favorite Verbs." It's as deep and inspiring and beautiful as she is. (Love ya, Brit!)

In another handing out of "props" (did you have any idea how widely anticipated and highly coveted the Kathy's Blog Awards are? Riiiiiiight....)...
Major props go out to our brother Denn-I for being the first estrogen-challenged participant in our little blog community. Wooo Hoooo! Da blog----->

And if this posting doesn't seem void of unity enough or is quite disjointed or unsettled enough for you, I could write about Balaam's talking donkey in today's RTBIAY readings. My study Bible suggests the use of the animal makes sense in light of Balaam's pagan animal divination, and it's ironic that the donkey could see what was spiritually right, while its owner could not. I LOVE that God chose to talk through a donkey! How infinite is He? And I love that he chooses the tools to talk to us that are unique to our circumstances.

Ya know, I don't feel quite so unsettled anymore. :-)

Valentine's Ditty

Attribute it to cabin fever after being snow-bound for two days, or just the crazy spirit of Valentine's love, but the kiddos and I have created a little Valentine's song. To fully enjoy this you must grab two or three people you love and belt it out at the top of your lungs. Presenting...

Cupid, The Diapered Archer

(Sung to the tune of Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer)

Cupid, the diapered archer, had a pair of rosy cheeks,
And if you ever saw him, your love life might get some tweaks.
All of his love-filled arrows, flying through the chilly air,
Might really hit their target, and then your heart you'll have to share!

Then that cupid, he'll look around, and see who you might match.
And when he sets his sights on him (or her), you're gonna have your catch.

Ooooooo (dramatically draw out with flair) oooooh, Cupid the diapered archer, hit his targets fair and square.
And on this Valentine's Day, (dramatically slow and crescendo) he's... made... a... rather... love...ly... pair!

Ske-be-bop, skooby-de-bop, He's made a rather lovely pair!!!

Wasn't that fun? Bet you didn't know we could skat! Oh, yeah!
(My apologies to people who know true musical direction.)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Happy Valentine's Day! We love you!!!

The Power of Speakin' It

It has come up in a few different Sunday school classes and in varied snippets of conversation: the power that comes from speaking the Word into our lives. In yesterday's scripture reading, John 6:63 brought that concept to mind again. "The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life." Life, spirit, word... Life from the spirit in the word. Bruthas and sistas, hang on to your hats...you have got to check out the following link. If you don't have a good ten to fifteen minutes, do it later because you'll want to absorb it. The very end was a powerful reminder to me that even praying before meals can significantly impact us. Father, I praise you for the Power in speaking the Word! Guide me to tap into that which you freely give. By the power in the Name of Jesus, Amen.

http://www.mercola.com/display/router.aspx?docid=26359

Mirror, Mirror

We were talking in Sunday school yesterday about how cool it is that for several weeks in a row now, the lesson we've had in class has mirrored the sermon. Nonbelievers would say, "Yeah, that's quite a coincidence." We say, "God must really be trying to get our attention by orchestrating it this way." I LOVE when He does that.

A similar "mirroring" incident caught my attention between another message at church yesterday and our RTBIAY readings. A quote from the elder's meditation resonated with me: "God wants our whole heart and our obedience." Ah, yes. An excellent message for 21st century folks like ourselves, right?

But check out how closely that actually reflects, or mirrors, what we've been reading in Leviticus. In the first chapter alone we read three different times about the sacrificial offerings that were "a whole burnt offering made by the fire, very pleasing to the Lord." Many more references in the following chapters indicate how pleasing it was to God when the Israelites offered their numerous sacrifices, obediently adhering to a strict set of procedures. A few things strike me about this.

First, the offerings (at least those in Chapter one) were WHOLE. Complete. The whole she-bang and kit-n-kaboodle. Application? We are to hold nothing back. Nada. Not grudges or anger, not hurt feelings or pride, not arrogance or ignorance. We are to give it all to Him, offering our WHOLE selves as living sacrifices.

Second, these were BURNT offerings made by the fire. Been burnt lately? Felt the heat and panicked because the flames were nipping at your heels? Have you felt consumed? In faith, trust that your Lord is preparing you for whatever your next step is. In fact, He's probably happily singing over you (Zeph. 3:17), knuckle-deep in forming you to the perfect shape. Lev. 9:28 says, "...It was an offering given to the Lord by fire, very pleasing to the Lord." Imagine the aroma of your sacrifice, the smoke resulting from your fire, rising to God and Him inhaling deeply and contentedly because you recognize his Lordship.

The third thing that strikes me about Leviticus so far is just the imposing detail in correctly executing the procedures. (Praise God for the New Covenant, Amen?) But we see how serious God was about His people following his directions to the letter when Aaron's sons take a short-cut and are struck dead (Ch. 10). So the key? Careful, meticulous obedience. Chapter 16 concludes by noting, "Moses followed ALL these instructions that the Lord had given to him."

It has also been neat that these OT readings are now paired up with readings from John. The initial Tabernacle blueprints are striking when juxtaposed with Jesus' claim to "Destroy this temple and in three days I'll raise it up." The ritual of the sacrifices are an interesting contrast to the sacrifice of wholly believing. Incredulous Nichodemus is told that belief in Jesus will be his salvation and that there's no judgment awaiting those who trust (Jn. 3).

What was law for the people of Moses' era is freedom for us today, sitting in our pews under the new covenant, and hearing the message, "God wants our WHOLE heart and our obedience." That's what is pleasing to the Lord. (Thanks, Darren!)

Kathy the Israelite

This post has literally been a week in the making. It has been through several drafts and to be honest, I'm still not happy with it. It's hard to write about something I'm ashamed of. But I published anyway, because as Christians, we're supposed to be real. Not all about the happy veneer exterior. So I'd feel dishonest and fake if I didn't share a deep, dark secret...

I was such an Israelite last week!

Now before anyone gets offended, please understand I'm talking about a Moses-led, Exodus-experiencing, miracle-witnessing, wilderness-wandering Israelite. You know... the kind that, back in Sunday school class, you referred to as a whiner and complainer. Yep, that was me last week.

You see, my son had pneumonia. In fact, in his young life, he's had it three times and when his little body is wracked with coughing, I just feel so helpless! And frustrated! (Parents, can I get a witness on that?!) So in between long waits in the doctor's office and pharmacy, in between juggling my daughters' homework and dinner with plying an unwilling, feverish child with nasty medicine, in between frustration with missing work, and all the other nuances of life, self-pity began to kick in:

"Oh Lord, why? Why can't my kids ever make it through winter without getting sick? Why do mine get sick more than anyone else's?" (Not true, but it always seems that way). "They only have sugary cereal for breakfast on rare occasions and they never drink pop. We eat only whole grain bread, and I make sure they have lots of fruit and at least one serving of veggies per day. We try to get in as many Superfoods as possible. I take them to the chiropractor for regular adjustments in order to boost their immune systems. Oh, Lord, how can they possibly be getting sick?"

Translation: God, I'm doing my part and you're not doing yours.

Whoa. Now wait a minute there. If I boil all my complaints down to one underlying issue, that misaligned view must really be what is at the core of all my mental caterwauling. Ouch.

Just like the Israelites, I was focused on me, my immediate and short-sighted circumstances, and had not placed hope and faith where they belonged. As incredulous as the Israelites' wavering faith always seemed to me, I'm confronted with the gnawing realization that I'm even worse than they were! Why?

The Israelites had just witnessed plagues against their enemies and walked through the sea between parted water walls, and they thought the Lord would let them die of starvation?

I have three generally healthy, bright, beautiful kids, and I suggest that God's not doing his job?!

The Israelites had Moses interceding for them and still drifted toward other idols?

I have JESUS interceding for me and I've done the same?!

I didn't craft a golden calf, but I had come to believe that through diet and other "keys to optimal health" that I had some modicum of control over my kids' health. Oh, how I clinched it tightly. But over the course of the last week, God gently pried my fingers loose, showing me that HE is in control and His grace is sufficient for me (II Cor. 12:9). Shane often says, "It's only by God's grace that we can even get up and tie our shoes in the morning." And it's only by His grace that my kids (or any of us) are healthy.

Father, thank you for smashing my idol. I know from your word that you do want us to be good stewards of our bodies and in faith I believe you do bless us in part according to how we manage your gifts. But in Exodus, you demonstrated that obedience to your will came FIRST, even clearly stating you'd protect the people from plagues if they remain faithful. Obviously, that's where I fell short too. I thank and praise you for your forgiveness and your grace. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Now...I'm off to the doctor. No, really. Lexi has a cough and an ear infection. (PTL!) :-)

Uh...Pharaoh?

Now typically, I like frogs. They're kind of cute, they eat insect pests, and my kids love to play with them. But imagine being completely overrun with them. Genesis 8 describes the plague of frogs as being so thick that they were even invading beds, ovens, and kneading bowls. It'd be kind of hard to sleep with those slimy, ribbitting guys trying to slip into your PJ's for warmth. It would also be a bit disconcerting to bite into your bread and sense something unusually chewy, only to look down and see half a frog oozing out at you. And then there's what they leave behind.

So Pharaoh, fed up (pun intended) with all this, summons Moses and Aaron to pray to their God to remove the frogs. Moses challenges Pharaoh to determine the time the prayer should take place. (Now here's the part that makes my jaw drop...)

Pharaoh responds, "Do it tomorrow."

(Okay, re-read that first part of v. 10. because I KNOW he didn't just say "tomorrow.")

"Do it tomorrow," Pharaoh said.

Oh no he didn't. Why on earth would he allow the frogs to remain one more day if he didn't have to?! Unless it was exactly 11:59:59 p.m. (or whatever the ancient Egyptian equivalent would be), then I simply do not understand how Pharaoh could respond this way in the midst of such nastiness. Why did he not burst out desperately, "Today...do it right now to end this!"

But then as God so often does, He transports me from His Word to my life...or more accurately, His Word IN my life: "Kathy, why do you judge him? You do this all the time. When you're worrying about a decision to make, you tell yourself that you need to pray about that, and sometimes you do, but sometimes you forget entirely. Or someone who is struggling will confide in you and you tell her 'I'll pray for you,' implying that you'll do it later. Why not do it right then? By waiting, you're postponing resolution or healing, just like Pharaoh did. So quit judging."

Excuse me while I go eat some humble pie...hopefully, the frogless variety. :-)

Moses, Moses, Moses

How cool is the story of Moses? He beat the odds from the very beginning by being born to a very creative and brave mom. But when the going got tough, Moses got going...to Midian, that is. God kept his hand on his chosen one, however, and revealed his plans to one stubborn, stuttering dude. For every protest Moses offered God about why he couldn't possibly do what he was asked, God had an answer for it...

Moses: Who am I to lead the Israelites? I'm nobody.
God: I'll be with you.
Moses: What if they don't believe me or listen to me?
God: I'll do miraculous signs through you.
Moses: But I'm slow of speech and tongue.
God: I made that mouth; I'll help you use it.
Moses: Please send someone else...

At this point (Ex. 4:14), Moses had pushed even Almighty God to the limit. In fact, my NIV says, "Then the Lord's anger burned against Moses" (emphasis mine). But he still provided help in the form of brother and spokesman Aaron.

So in the big picture, things looked like they were humming along...the plan was revealed, Moses was finally on board now with the promise of Aaron joining in, and as they traveled, God was sharing what would happen when they got back to Egypt. Then the story takes a very interesting turn:

Ex. 4:24--26, NLT: "On the journey, when Moses and his family had stopped for the night, the Lord confronted Moses and was about to kill him..." (What?! Kill him?! This was the guy hand-picked to deliver the Israelites! This really threw me for a loop.) "...But Zipporah, his wife, took a flint knife and circumcised her son. She threw the foreskin at Moses' feet and said, 'What a blood-smeared bridegroom you are to me!'...After that, the Lord left him alone."

Was God still angry with Moses for arguing? Was there something else that wasn't mentioned? In confusion, I consulted my NIV study Bible to see what explanation it offered about this bizarre scenario. It states: Sensing that divine displeasure had threatened Moses' life, she quickly performed the circumcision on her young son...Circumcision may have been repulsive to her. (The "may" there cracks me up--Ya think?!) An interesting side note is that "feet" was probably a euphemism for "genitals"--Zipporah really wanted Moses to understand how angry she was that she had to do his work for him!

Moses had neglected to circumcise his own son, disobeying THE benchmark covenant that began with Abraham. Good thing Zipporah stepped up! So what's the application here? Even though God has chosen you specifically to further His divine plan, you'll still be held accountable for disobedience. (The bonus lesson: choose a responsible spouse!) :-)

Finishing Genesis

As our RTBIAY group comes to the end of Genesis, there is one overriding feeling that I just can't shake: these people were just as screwed up as we are. But even more important is the fact that God used them, nonetheless...guess there's hope for us, Amen?! I know it's really important not to judge, especially since we can't fathom the difficulties of living in this ancient time. But I can't get past a few things and I was wondering if some of you had anything you'd like to share on these matters...

A "Lot" to say on this: Okay, so Lot (Ch. 19) is so protective of his guests that he willingly volunteers to subject his daughters to the sexual atrocities of the gang of perverts outside?! I know it was a host's duty to ensure the safety of those under his roof, but I would think that would include his own flesh and blood as well. Or was his offer simply a ruse intended to stall the mob? He may have known he had some heavenly help inside and was merely trying to get rid of the crowd...especially if he was aware of their homosexual intent, he might have been guessing his daughters were safe. Thoughts?

A lot of deception going on! Poor Abimelech fell for the same old "She's my sister" line (Ch. 20) from not only Abraham (a lie he'd had success with before on Pharoah in Ch. 12), but also Isaac! Jacob, who became the father of nations, schemed to get what he wanted (Ch. 27). Laban and Rachel were dishonest. Simeon and Levi, even though they were avenging their sister's rape, disregarded the agreement between Shechem and their father and slaughtered all the men in town (Ch. 34). Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute to finally bear the children she'd been denied in Judah's family (38). Joseph's brothers lied about his disappearance (37) and Potiphar's wife's lie got him imprisoned (39). And yet in all this deception, God worked it out. Comments?

Crazy Sexploits! In addition to the aforementioned lewd behavior, Lot's daughters got him drunk to procreate in Ch. 19 (guess that would fall under "deception" too, huh?), and Reuben slept with his father's concubine...(I'm seeing a pattern here...)! Insights?

And all of this is just since my last post!

The way the book ends is actually sort of cathartic. The sons of Jacob each "received a blessing that was appropriate to him" (49:28) and Joseph and his brothers achieved peace before he died. You know, people who say the Bible is boring have not read Genesis. I'd put it up against any Hollywood blockbuster and say it has enough drama to emerge victorious! But even better is that we're given hope in seeing that God has a purpose for each of us, and even as we mess up--BAD, if we continue to seek him and his will with our whole hearts, he not only forgives, but works it all for good.

About the Blog Title...

I've been asked why I named the blog Legacy. The answer's actually kind of relevant to the reading that our RTBIAY group has been doing. As shown by the geneologies as well as the multiple promises God had made to his faithful so far (and we're not even through Genesis yet!), leaving a legacy was of paramount importance. Being barren and childless was a disgrace and the best blessing was a whole quiver (Psalm 127:5) full of kiddos to carry on the family heritage.

As a mom of three, I can honestly say that the legacy of my dreams for them is that they love and seek the Lord their whole lives. Shane and I are, of course, trying to ensure an earthly legacy by being financially responsible. But we both know it is all in vain unless each of them desires and pursues a relationship with the Living God. That's the legacy we strive for... Living out our Christian faith, providing an example of what it means to be children of God, even if we fall short in numerous ways every day. Seeking the Lord's will in decision-making. Being Jesus to others. If our kids inherit such a legacy, then Praise God for His mercy and for using broken tools to get the job done!

So why name the blog that? I guess I view it as one of the stepping stones in the legacy we're tying to leave, and a documented one at that. I want my kids to read postings and responses that show excitement for God's word. I want them to see that we don't have to understand everything and that faith and love cover a multitude of sins (James 5:20). I want them to witness fellowship (in person OR online) with other believers and know that it's vital. I want them to see that going public for our Lord truly affects others, and that they'll just maybe decide to start their own legacy... :-)