Christmas '08

Just a few pix from this Christmas season. We really didn't take very many!

Here's Skylar on the night of his chorus concert.

And with Lexi and Maisie after the concert.

A family shot in front of the tree. I liked it better when our tree was in front of the window, but we did something different this year.

Penny the uncooperative reindeer didn't want to look at the camera!

Fess Up

I was thinking about this the other day: in our family, nicknames, and even just some words in general, don't remain in their original form. They always evolve. Sometimes into something really stupid. Shane and I will be in goofy moods talking in "Lay"-man's terms (get it?!) and then we'll just be like, "Do you think other people do this or are we the only nuts?"

Today, Missy posted about weird things her family does, so I thought I'd go ahead and share a little more about this strange thing our family does.

Take the name of our dog, Penny. That quickly became Penny-Poo. Which somehow became Penny-pooberly. Which was sometimes shortened to Pooh-bear. Which became Pooh-berry. Then out of the blue came Penelope (which I sometimes pronounce Penny-lope). Shane one day came up with Poobulon. Any combo of the aforementioned could also be used, such as Penny Penny Pooberry. Add a stupid "itsy boo" voice to that along with some serious belly rubbing and you pretty much have the picture! Poor dog answers to about 25 different name combinations.

I won't even get into our names for each other because, well, I'd punch anybody who wasn't blood who called me what I get called in this house. ;-) But you get the picture, right?

So the question is...are we just odd (I prefer to think of it as "fun in a quirky way"--after all, WE enjoy it!) or does anyone else out there do it too? Come on now, fess up.

Oui Wii!

Over Christmas break, the kiddos got used to staying up way too late at night (MAN! Who parents these kids, anyway?!) and sleeping way too late in the morning. So when Sunday night rolled around and the kids faced the first early morning they'd had in weeks, I knew I'd need to play hardball to get them into bed at a decent hour.

Enter Wii...

At 8:00 I said, "Kids, we have a new rule in our house. Whoever does not have their teeth brushed, shower taken, PJ's on, clothes for the next day laid out, and is not in their own bed by 8:30, will not get to play Wii the next day."

They scattered like cockroaches when the light's turned on.

It worked! All three bodies were in their respective beds by the designated time.

And tonight it worked again! I don't know how much I can milk this before the novelty wears off and one of them decides he or she doesn't mind skipping a day. But for now, it sure is good!

The Gauntlet

Uh oh. Denn-I done went and threw down the gauntlet. Read his comment on yesterday's post. He didn't just DARE me to post every day this year, he TRIPLE DOG dared me! That's pretty hard to turn down. But it would make it more interesting if a family dinner were on the line. ;-)

Three for Three

It just dawned on me yesterday as I clicked on "publish post" that so far in '09, I had posted every single day! (Sure, it was only Jan. 2, but hey, it starts where it starts!) Having a perfect average so far inspired me to see how far I can take it. I'm not setting the unrealistic goal of posting every day of 2009. That would be setting myself up for failure and maybe guilt and who needs that?

But it did take me back to a thought I keep coming back to time and time again: I need to be more disciplined in my writing. Big time. If you want to become a great basketball player, you practice and at least mess around with the ball and the hoop. A lot. If you want to become a great chef, you experiment and readjust and get creative. A lot. Not every shot will go in for the b-ball player, and not every dish will be a hit for the chef. But the odds of a swisher and a five-star gourmet meal increase with each attempt.

It's the same with writing. So even though most of my posts will fall into the category of "random" and will likely fade into oblivion, some of them may turn into devotions. Or articles. Or who knows? Every great work began with a random thought. And even random thoughts--if God-inspired--are great.

Isaiah 50:10-11, "Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant? If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God. But watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires. This is the reward you will receive from me: You will soon lie down in great torment."

Lord, I really want to develop a discipline for this area you've entrusted to me. I ask for your spirit of diligence and self-control so that I can better ready myself for you to work. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A Perfect Gift

My bro turns 47 today. I knew exactly what to get him...

If you knew him you'd agree this is the perfect gift.

Good times. They are a'comin'! ;-)

A Lay-style New Year

As the final minutes of 2008 ticked away into history, the four people that I love the most were gathered with me in the family room playing Wii. (Thanks, Santa! We LOVE it!) Though we'd indulged in Ichiban earlier in the day, and were now full of cheesy garlic biscuits, we were still trying to improve our fitness ages and raise our scores to the professional level. Congrats to Lexi who is now a tennis pro!

At 11:59, we began the sixty second countdown. Then...Happy New Year!

We wanted to sleep in the glow of the Christmas lights one last time, all of us together in the living room. (Okay, FOUR of us did.) As we talked about some of our favorite memories from 2008, it was clear our vacation ranked high for everyone. But you know what else did? And this was from the kids..."Really, all the times were great except when someone was hurt or we argued." Amen. Lord, You've been so good to us.

As the first rays of light of a brand new year slipped over the horizon, this is what 2009 found... A dad and a mom who were in their bed (how'd that happen?), three precious kids slumbering in a nest of pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals on the living room floor, and the peace of knowing that God's presence is infinite, awe-spiring, sometimes confusing and uncomfortable, but always trustworthy.

And what's this? One little cherub face had been marked up with lipstick as she slept blissfully unaware.

Yeah, I'd say that's about right in this house!

Thank You, Jesus.

Happy 2009!

It's Snot Easy

Here’s a conversation that went down in our car on the way to school one recent morning…

Lexi: Hey Mom. What does green snot stand for?

A big pause here as I think about that. After all, I was not aware that snot stood for any particular causes. Perhaps it stands for dairy products in the interest of becoming more robust? Or maybe it stands for the cause of softer tissues in order to have a plusher landing pad?

Me: Uh…, I don’t know. (There. Just bought me a few more seconds of thinking time.)

Oh! Maybe she means “stands for” as in an acronym…S.N.O.T. Could S.N.O.T. stand for Syrupy Nasally Olfactory Things? Or maybe Secretions Normally Otherwise Thinner. Shoot! Got me. I have no idea what S.N.O.T. stands for.

Lexi: You know, like if it’s clear it means something but if it’s green it means something else.

LIGHTBULB!

Me: Ooooooohhh, okay. Now I know what you mean. Yeah, clear snot’s the kind you want because that means there’s no infection. Green or yellow could mean infection. But sometimes it gets that way at the beginning or end of a cold, too.

Lexi: Okay.

That was it! That’s all she needed! Just a little reminder about which colors of snot to be concerned about! Whew! It’s snot easy trying to have all the answers! But I love it when I do. ;-)

This HAS to Change

It's articles like this that absolutely make my blood run cold and boil at the same time:

Too Sexy Too Soon
by Marissa Cohen, Redbook

While it may seem cute when a 5-year-old copies the hip-shaking dance moves she sees on TV, it's also one of the first signs of how the adult concept of "sexiness" is being sold to younger and younger kids today, say Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., and Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D. In their new book, So Sexy So Soon, the authors explore a culture where grade-schoolers want to dress like go-go dancers, 10-year-old boys have seen Internet porn, and 13-year-olds talk casually about oral sex. Here, Kilbourne discusses how childhood is changing, and what parents can do to protect their kids:

What's different about how little girls are acting and dressing today?
We used to dress up in our mother's clothes. Now little girls are dressing up as sexy teenagers, and there are clothes being marketed to them that look like they are from Victoria's Secret. I see little girls wearing strapless black numbers to the school dance! As a result, girls are getting the message that not only is it important to be pretty but it is also important to be hot and sexy. Research clearly shows that this pressure is damaging to girls' self-esteem.

How does this affect their relationships with boys?
Girls have always gotten the message that it's important to attract boys, but we used to get it a little later, when we were 12 or 13; now they're getting it as early as 6 or 7. Girls in grade school are competing with each other to see who's the hottest, and then boys are learning that's how they should look at girls. It sets up a dynamic that does an enormous amount of harm. Little boys learn to look at girls as objects rather than as friends.

What happens as kids get older?
When a girl has learned early on that what matters most is how sexy she is, then by the time she hits the tween years, the message is already deep in her psyche and it just becomes louder and more harmful. Sex gets speeded up — 12- and 13-year-olds are doing what 16-year-olds used to do, and by the time they're 16, many are already blasé about casual sex. That's when you hear about "friends with benefits" and kids thinking about sex as being separate from a relationship. This not only puts them at physical risk for STDs, unwanted pregnancy, or even date rape, but they also lose the chance to develop the empathy and compassion that are necessary to make intimate relationships work later on.

What can moms do?
When your children are younger, you can limit their exposure to certain media. As kids get older, stay familiar with what they are listening to and watching. Ask them why they like certain songs or clothes so you can open up a dialogue about it. It's so important to start talking to your kids about sexuality and relationships as early as possible, in an age-appropriate way. If they know they can ask you anything and they will not be punished or shamed for it, that will pay off in incredible dividends when they hit their teenage years. When kids feel like they can talk to you, they will.

This ain't yo momma's pre-teen years, that's for sure. And if that article didn't curl your toes, this one surely will: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27706917/?GT1=43001
Yikes.

My point with all this is not to depress you or get us all bogged down with worry. I'm actually bringing up this reality to ask for prayer. You see, there's something I haven't really "gone public" with that these articles--and all the scary facts they contain--are now prompting me to share.

This past spring, I felt God's leading to create a fiction series for tweens that is based on the beatitudes. A few basic problems surfaced right away. One, I don't write fiction; and two, I don't write for tweens. But I jumped on board and cranked out several chapters right away just running on the excitement and fun of the mission. That wore away quickly. Adrenaline only takes you so far.

But I still felt this huge burden that our kids just don't stand a chance of being pure in this culture, but for the grace of God. I wanted desperately to show them what being a Christian could look like as my characters held each other accountable and tried to walk in Christ's path. I wanted to show them that being Christian does NOT equal being a snob or a prude or a nut. But as I said, it was getting really hard to write in a genre that I've never really done before.

So I prayed. "God?" I asked. "Are you absolutely sure that THIS is what I'm supposed to be doing? I mean, fiction's not my gift, obviously." My faithful God replied with this: "Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, for riches don’t last forever, and the crown might not be passed to the next generation" (Proverbs 27:23-24, NLT).

Wow. I took that to mean that I need to be aware of what my kids are exposed to and pour myself into looking after their spiritual well-being. Just because I've chosen to follow Christ doesn't mean they necessarily will. And then I felt like God was showing me this truth not only for my kids, but for kids in general. I felt like He was saying, "Yes, Kathy, this is what you're supposed to be working on."

Well, given that answer, how could I NOT obey? I plugged away, hard as it was. At She Speaks in June, a publisher expressed a genuine interest in the idea of the series. She emailed me a proposal template which I completed and sent to her a few weeks ago. The first book isn't quite finished yet (though it's getting close!), but the proposal only required the first several chapters. I haven't heard back from her yet, but I know the reality. The chances of publication are very slim from a human standpoint.

You all, I am boldy asking for prayer. I don't for a red-handed second think that anything I've done on my own can make a difference in this "crooked and perverse generation." I certainly don't anticipate starting a revolution. But since God's been the instigator here--and I believe that with all my heart--then I'm humbly asking you to pray that God would use this work to touch young lives according to His will. If that's only a small circle of kids here locally, fine. If it's many more than that, great.

I remember one time reading in the OT about child sacrifices and being appalled. I thought, "How could people actually condone sacrificing their children?" and the text noted how detestable it was to God too. But you know what? Our culture isn't so different. We don't throw them into a volcano, but to an extent we have thrown them to the wolves in this hyper-sexed society that tells kids their value is in their hotness. Please join me in unleashing God's power to show kids, whatever the means, that they are loved, worthy of respect, and are precious in God's sight. If they value themselves by Christ's standards, maybe one day we won't be reading articles like the ones above.

Yay, October!

The first-ever father/son deer hunt for my two favorite guys. No harvest, but have you ever seen a finer lookin' pair of hunters?



Soccer season ended... (basketball, here we come!)



Carving pumpkins the night before Halloween...



and then...HALLOWEEN! Frankenstein was supposed to have a bride, but at the last minute she decided to give up her black and silver wig and make-up for the comfort of her robe and slippers! (Don't brides usually wait until after the honeymoon to do that?!) And the headless horseman rides again!

Just in case you can't tell (and why wouldn't you be able to?) Shane is dressed as an Illini fan. His hair is painted blue, but the orange and blue face paint were not cooperating. I guess when they've sat in the closet for three or four years, they lose their creaminess.

And yep, I was a witch. Feel free to keep your comments to yourself about that! :-)

Movie Reviews...

If you haven't seen High School Musical 3 or Fireproof and don't want any give-aways, you may want to skip this. And some of you might disagree with me. But I just thought I'd share my views on two movies I saw over the weekend. :-)

HSM3: My least favorite of the series. I SO wanted to love this movie and I went in to it convinced that I would. I even guilted Shane into coming to see it with us. Now I’ll never live it down. ;-) Many of you may love it so I don’t want to step on toes, but here are some random thoughts I had as I watched it…
“Why does Gabriella’s hemline have to be cut so short in a dance number where she gets picked up, spun around, and has her arms raised so much?”
“Why do the cheerleaders’ tops have to be cut so low?”
“What happened to Ryan? I loved how his character grew in HSM2 and at how the Wildcats encouraged his talent and involvement. So why is he so one-dimensional now?”
“Did Zeke have more than two lines?” He was referred to more than he spoke.

And after I watched it…
“Uh…did I see them at prom or didn’t I?” Sure, T & G had “their own” prom but jumbled segments weakened the story-line for me. I think? Honestly, I was confused. And was that graduation or the musical or both at the same time?
“What were the walk away hit numbers? The Boys are Back was by far the coolest, but I can’t even remember the tune right now.” (Of course, I haven’t heard it 35 times yet on TV, either.)

I don’t want to seem too cynical. The kids liked it enough (and Praise Jesus! I heard my girls discussing how they thought some of the outfits were inappropriate!). But after 1 & 2, I wondered if we’d ever get enough of this fab group. I think I have now. So that’s good, right? :-)


Fireproof: Even if you’re not married this gem provides a lesson and reminder we all need—to love and serve others unconditionally. And for nonbelievers it presents them with the gospel message. Is the acting going to win any Oscars? Probably not. But if we use God’s measuring stick, as opposed to Oscar’s OR the world’s, this film is HUGE! The Holy Spirit can and will and is working through this movie to soften and convict hearts, plant seeds, and whatever else He sees fit to do. It’s a tool worth exposing yourself to.

Some thoughts while watching…
“My goodness, Kirk Cameron is all grown up! (Yikes, that means I am too.)”
“Where’s the humor and fun in the couple’s relationship? Did they used to have any before things got so bad?”
“Wow…she’s cold as ice! Give him a chance!”
“The big dude is a hoot!” There were some truly funny parts, especially with the male relationships at the fire house—and not a vulgarity to be found!

At a pivotal part in the story when Caleb, the husband, is at the crossroads of feeding his addiction or destroying it, I became angry at how accessible this particular temptation is. It literally just popped up right in front of him. A weak person stands little chance without the power of the Holy Spirit guiding his choices. Seeing him beat that devil down with a bat was very satisfying.

By the end, you see God’s work in a man who’s changed. And a wife too. AND you feel some hope that maybe the Christian niche will gain a stronger foothold in cinema. AMEN!

I’ve posted recently (either here or on the Olive Branch?) talking about our charge to “tell the wonderful things God has done.” Well, have I got a story for you!

Through the wonder of the internet, God has connected me with a soul-sister in Minnesota, a 3rd grade teacher named Tammy. It has been awe-inspiring to both Tammy and me to watch God create a bond that’s a little more solid and a little more revealing about His plans through each exchanged email. Maybe the best way to share this is to provide chronological snippets of our exchanges. What started it all was an email from Tammy about an article I wrote…

I just recently received my first issue of TCW and loved it. The last article I read was one you wrote about control and what God wants. It was in the July/August issue. It was perfect for me to read.

My husband and I have been trying for our second child for almost two years. I have been through a major roller coaster ride of emotions going through this. I learned about six months ago that I really like to be in control and I never realized how much I try to control EVERYTHING which is not possible. I have to remind myself that I cannot control this….God is in control and I shouldn’t try to grab onto it over and over again. Your article really encouraged me and gave me a boost in giving it all to God.

Understanding fully how to hand it over to God has released some of this pressure though I continue to trip up from time to time. Thank you for sharing on this topic. I know I need to be patient and wait upon the Lord. In His time, our family will grow. Thank you once again. Many blessings to you and your family!

Now it was clear to me immediately that I needed to share my own struggle with infertility with this dear woman. So I replied without even really stopping to think,

I can't tell you what your sweet message meant to me. God used it to encourage me in my writing when I really needed it. So thank you, thank you. Now I want to encourage YOU! My husband and I found out I was pregnant only a few months after we'd gotten married in 1995. He was elated; I wasn't. I wanted to just be married for awhile without kids, ya know? Then when I began to get really excited (finally) we miscarried. From that point on, for two years, it became our mission to get pregnant. He was tested, I was tested, I had my tubes blasted, we prayed when we thought about it (we weren't walking the walk back then), and we finally ended up having success with Chlomid. It "took" the first month and eight months later I had beautiful fraternal twin girls who looked nothing alike. They'll have their 11th birthday in December. Three years after their birth we began trying for number three. No luck on our own, but again, Chlomid worked on the first try and nine months later came our bouncing baby boy.

I share this because I want to let you know that God sometimes works through professionals--maybe so that in some way you can be the salt and the light to them, maybe so that they can touch you in some way. I've heard it said "If God wanted you to be pregnant you would be." But to that I say, "He provides avenues and help and if He doesn't want us pregnant, we still won't be." In other words, don't let people give you a hard time for seeking available help. Of course, seek God FIRST, and it'll all work out.

I don't know you, but I already love you. Keep me posted on your family growth. ;-)

Now, hold up…I know what you’re thinking: Sheesh, Kath! That’s a lot of very personal info you’re giving to someone you don’t even know! Aren’t you afraid she’ll think you’re a nutcase or someone who’s too desperate for a friend? The second AFTER I hit send, yes, I was afraid of both of those things. But I’m sure it was the Holy Spirit prompting me to do it—talk to Him about it. ;-) Here’s a portion of Tammy’s response:

Wow! I don’t know you and love you, too!! I am tearing up over here. Thank you so much for responding and sharing your beautiful story with me! I needed your words! I am in awe of God right now. Here we are - two people who have never met before….I recently was given a subscription to TCW as a gift…..read your article that touched me in a BIG way…..and saw your email and felt the need to write to you. Then you write back with words that only a person who has dealt with fertility issues could write. He uses everything, doesn’t He?!

Take THAT doubt and pride!! Of course, I had to respond, but I’ll skip ahead a few exchanges because we got very personal about praying over wombs and what not, getting to know each other a little better and just praising God all the way.

Then I received this message from Tammy…

I got my “wonderful” period yesterday….so I guess I am not pregnant. But, I didn’t cry this time. I have cried every time since January of 07! I have had a greater peace within me from our writing back and forth. I just feel like I am in a better place right now. I know I may still have good and bad days with this, but it was an awesome feeling to actually be “OK” with it this time. I was still bummed, but not like I have been in the past. Thanks again for your openness with me.

My response…(and again, please note that this was another one that as soon as I hit send, I began to fear I’d gone too far and lost my new email friend forever.)

Okay, YOU may not have cried when you got your "wonderful" period (I laughed out loud when I read that!) but I had tears in my eyes as I read your whole message. God is SO amazing!!! What a blessing you are to me!

So let's see, if I've got my math right, I need to be on-my-face prayin' REALLY hard on Oct. 13th...and YOU better be getting ready for a romantic evening! (wink, wink) Hey, that's Columbus Day! You and I will both have the day off. I just had a crazy idea...do you want to join me in a fast that morning? Just skip breakfast that day and pray for you every time we get a hunger pang? Then break the fast at lunch? Even though we're hundreds of miles apart, we could be unified in the effort through that. What do you think?

But instead of writing me off as a fanatic or worse, my girl responded,

Okay, now I am crying!!!! Trying to keep it together while the kids are packing up over here. On Sunday in church as I was listening to the sermon….for whatever reason I thought about fasting. I do not generally do that. I did once in my life and it was an amazing experience for my faith. So on Sunday it was on my mind and I really felt strongly to fast. To be honest, after Sunday it hadn’t crossed my mind until JUST RIGHT NOW!!!! YES! I would love to fast with you and thank you for being YOU!! Praise God! It is obvious God is telling me to fast!! The thirteenth sounds great………I actually will be teaching because we do not get Columbus Day off. But, that is fine!! Normal people would ovulate around there, but my time is usually around the 16th day of my cycles???? But I feel often that when the kit says I am ovulating that I am not…..maybe I missed it?? This is wonderful! I want to do this and I thank you for listening to your heart and what God is telling you.

You all, we serve an AWESOME GOD, do we not?! So on the 13th when some of us get a day off for Columbus Day, would you all mind lifting up a special prayer for Tammy? You too will be a part, then, of this amazing work God is doing.